


Letters from me to you

by Dandelion (yukitsubute)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt, Hurt Stephen Strange, Letters, Love, Love Letters, M/M, Romance, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-06-30 04:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15743964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukitsubute/pseuds/Dandelion
Summary: Stephen and Peter had disappeared and Tony can't imagine a life without them. It's the day he finds the first letter from someone really special.





	1. How it starts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone <3 
> 
> It's my first try to write a multi chapter in the marvel universe :) I hope you'll like it. 
> 
> It may contain spoilers of infinity war - so be prepared :) 
> 
> Thanks for stumbling by and reading this story <3 The chapters are pretty short, but  
> I wanted to make parts for it, because ... hm ... I don't know why, but that idea formed in my  
> head during writing *lol* 
> 
> Comments and kudos are loved, but please remember I am not a native. Thank you <3

“There are fourteen million possible endings and just one will bring success.” Stephen’s words were still resounding in Tony’s ears.

 

He looked around. Peter and Stephen were gone, and Tony felt lost. They disappeared, they turned into dust. Stephen had seemed to know what he was doing, but now? How should this go on? Were they dead or just gone, caught somewhere else?

 

Tony didn’t know how he had come back to earth, to his home, showered and packed in a warm blanket. His mind was completely blank and he had the feeling that he was just working like a machine, because his heart was still beating, but he was far away from feeling alive.

 

“Tony?” Tony winced. He turned to see Bruce standing at the door, smiling sadly at him. He had heard that a lot of them had disappeared, but his heart belonged to Stephen and Peter, they had been his life, his power and strength. And now? Emptiness spread in him. “You got a letter.”  Bruce handed him a paper.

 

Tony’s heart beat increased. He knew the handwriting. No one else than Stephen made curves and squiggles on certain letters. With shaking hands Tony opened the letter and started reading.

 

_Dear Tony,_

_If you get this letter, it means that I am gone. I guess I have told you that time can bring various possibilities of an ending, and that you should go for the best way for all of us, even though that means that you have to sacrifice one or two things._

_I guess my decision to, hm, let’s call it ‘go’ was for sure a difficult one, because I never wanted to leave you. And because we both had experienced so much together, I thought of bringing back all the memories we share with each other and of course with Peter. I send you letters from now on, sharing all the memories with you again._

_With love,_

_Stephen_

 

Tony gulped. Did Stephen know what would happen? Anger rose in Tony, but it got mixed up with sadness and desperation. Maybe he should have done something different? Maybe there would have been a way to prevent all this? But no matter how often Tony thought about other possibilities, it always ended with most of his friends disappearing.

 

Stephen wanted to send him letters from now on? That sounded like he doubted that he’d come back to Tony, and Tony didn’t want to accept that. He would search for his family, even though it meant that he would die.

 

He turned the letter to see if there was something else written on it, but there were just the few words on the front. How and when would Stephen send him letters? Tony’s head started spinning. This was too much for him. The whole situation overstrained him. He had lost so much the last hours.

 

“Tony, you should rest,” he heard Bruce saying. “We all should.” He was probably right, but how should he rest when he was worried to death? He couldn’t think of closing his eyes, sleeping for a while. But Bruce was right, he wasn’t useful when he was tired and powerless. Maybe he should lie down for one or two hours?

 

Tony closed the door to his bedroom and leaned against it, closing his eyes for a moment. He took some deep breathes, but the certain bad feeling in him didn’t fade. “I am strong, I make it through this,” he murmured, but it didn’t work. Everything around him started spinning, and he had the feeling to lose the balance. He stumbled forward and let himself fall on the bed.

 

He shifted and grasped for Stephen’s pillow. Maybe there was his scent left on it, calming Tony down. He sat up when he saw the envelope falling down and suddenly Tony’s numbness turned into slight excitement.

 

Did Stephen really write him letters?


	2. The first date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen’s first letter to Tony. The day they met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second part of the story. I hope you like it. :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are always loved, thanks for following this story. :)

  
Tony twisted the letter in his hands. Was he really ready to read what Stephen had written? He was afraid that it would hurt him much more than he was already hurt. But in the end he needed to know what Stephen wanted to tell him. He opened it with shaking hands and pulled out the sheet, which was filled up with writing on both sides.  
  
**Jannuary, the day we met**  
  
_Dear Tony,_  
  
_I still remember the day you came to the townhouse and I can tell you, you hit me right away. First I thought that you are someone who’d make me freak out immediately, losing all my patience, but you know, it was totally different.(okay, sometimes I lose my patience with you, but you know that’s because of various reasons we don’t need to discuss in this letter.)_  
  
_You are a little (or big) tease, but I liked that, maybe because we are similar, but I am not that sulky and pouty, like you are. (And zu definitely see you pouting now, and wish I could kiss your pouty lips...) But I liked that, though I was astonished about my reaction, cause I always thought that I can’t handle such things well. You proofed me better, Tony._  
  
_I don’t have to tell you that you look good, cause you know that, but that wasn’t the reason I liked you with the first words you said to me. I liked how strong willed and stubborn you are, and if you have an opinion about something or someone you stick to it. I really appreciate that, though I already knew there that it wouldn’t be easy with you._  
  
_I invited you for tea, can you remember? It was an impulsive decision I had made in this moment. I can remember your irritated and a little astonished look. I guess you thought what this strange Strange wants from you. Am I Right? But finally you agreed. I still wonder why? Did you feel it back then? The tension between us. Or did you just want to be polite? Maybe you can give me the answer anytime._  
  
_During our tea we kept silent, can you remember? It was an awkward situation, but soon the ice broke, and I don’t know why this happened. I was so happy when we started talking about this and that, and I was full of joy when I realised that we have so much in common. It made me feel like this could really work between us. It’s maybe stupid that I thought like this after meeting you once, but I was right, it fit._  
  
_I am curious how you have experienced our first meeting, Tony? I never asked you about it. But I guess you thought that I was an idiot, right?_  
  
_Take a rest Tony, I guess it was a hard day for you, and you really need some sleep. Let me just tell you that I am so glad that I met you. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to feel something deeper anytime again, but then you came._  
  
_In love,_  
_Stephen_

  
  
Tony gulped. “You idiot,” he laughed bitterly. “I felt same.” Tony had never said it out loud, and neither did Stephen. They had talked a lot about their life, but they had never talked about their first meeting. Tony had come to the room and he had seen Stephen and it was the first time in Tony’s life that he knew that Stephen was what he wanted. He wasn’t that sure his entire life about something. And he had never believed in love at the first sight till he had met Stephen.  
  
Tony lay back, his eyes closed. It was so silent in his house. No one walked around, no Stephen scolding Peter for something, and no Peter who would peak into the room, asking for completely random things, going on Tony’s nerves with it. Oh, how he missed that already.  
  
Slowly Tony’s world got blur and at one point he fell into a restless sleep.


	3. The first real date

Tony opened his eyes. He didn’t know how long he had been asleep. It felt like only some seconds, because he was still tired – terribly tired. He turned to look out of the window. It was night, so he had indeed slept for a longer time.   
  
He sat up. He felt like throwing up, but he was also hungry, he hadn’t ate something in forever – at least it felt like this. He got up and walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge and pulled out some leftovers from the day before.   
  
  
“What’s this,” he murmured when he saw an envelope on the oven. The letters were exact in one line and it was handwritten – it was definitely Stephen’s writing.   
  
**Our first real date**  
  
_Dear Tony,_  
  
_Do you remember the small Italian restaurant down the street? It was a rainy day we decided to meet there. Wong had asked me where I want to go, and I lied to him. I wasn’t sure where this would lead us to, and I didn’t want to get asked about this date. I wanted it to stay our secret for as long as possible, especially because it was just a sprout and no flower till then._  
  
_What did you do? Did you tell someone about your date, Tony?_  
  
_When you entered the restaurant, I already waited for you. My heart stopped. There I knew it. I wanted this – I wanted you. You know I am really impulsive, but this time I tried to stay calm and think about everything before I would get myself into trouble. I wanted to check if you might feel same, or if it’s one-sided interest._  
  
_And I was so happy that you aren’t the most patient person, and that you are way more direct than I could ever be. I laughed so hard after that evening, and you know why, right?_  
  
_We walked down the street after having a nice dinner, and we stopped in this park. I will never forget that. We talked about this and that, and we laughed about things and discussed others. Suddenly you stopped and you pulled on my arm. I turned, a little irritated, and looked directly in your questioning eyes. “I want to try it with you.” This was what you said to me, and my heart stopped again. Not in hundred years I would have dared to tell you these words so direct. But I was so damn happy you did._  
  
_I agreed to it – of course I did, because I already fell so hard for you. It sounds cheesy and not like me, right? But I don’t know…to write things like this is easier than talking about it._  
  
_I was overall happy about that date, and I was already looking forward to the next one, I just didn’t know that our first date wasn’t over yet…_  
  
_In love,_  
 _Stephen_   
  
“Penne arrabiata,” Tony murmured. He took the phone and called the food service, he needed this now, and it had to be from the Italian restaurant he had been with Stephen. Even though it was already past midnight, he needed it now. He knew it would make him feel like Stephen was still around him. Maybe it would make him like everything was okay, at least for some minutes.

It didn’t take long till the doorbell rang and the man handed him his food. He gave him the money and closed the door behind him. The noodles already smelt too good. He sat at the table and started eating slowly. He immediately felt taken back to the day he had met Stephen in the restaurant. 

  
When Tony had entered the restaurant he had known it. He wanted Stephen – he had hardly felt like this before. He thought it would take months till he’d maybe feel something for Stephen, he never dared to even think about falling in love that fast.

Tony really wasn’t a patient person – he needed to know if there was a chance for them. He had never been that direct forward before, but he somehow knew that the interest wasn’t one-sided. 

  
Tony had dated beforehand, but he was never the type who fell in love after one date – it was something he absolutely couldn’t imagine – and he got proofed wrong. It was possible.   
  
After a few bites Tony felt like throwing up. His whole life turned into a mess. What should he do now? And how could he find a way to get his love back to him?   
  
“Jarvis, do we have any appointments today?” Tony asked. He wanted to get rid of his dark thoughts. He couldn’t think about getting back to sleep, so he did what he always did - working. He needed to find a way to get them back, of course, but he also knew that he wouldn’t solve this in one day.   
  
“No, Mr.Stark, there are no meetings, but Steve Rogers called you. He wanted to meet you,” Jarvis answered.   
  
Tony sighed. Of course the others tried reaching him. Maybe it was the best to call for them – maybe they would be able to think of a solution when they’d think about it together. “Call the Avengers early in the morning, Jarvis. We need to get together.”   
  
“Yes, Mr.Stark.”

 

 


	4. After the first date

Tony couldn’t concentrate on the meeting with the others even though he had suggested this meeting. One reason for it was because he hated it how they pitied him. He didn’t want that. He knew that Peter and Stephen were alive, they just had to find them, and the others. There had to be a way to get them back to their world. They weren’t dead – Tony didn’t want to think this way.  
  
He had to stay positive, and he knew that everything would be alright again. He had to believe that everything would be alright again. It had to be like that. It couldn’t be different.  
  
Tony let his bag fall down at the entrance and slipped out of his shoes. He didn’t even care where they stood – Stephen was not here to complain about it. His heart clenched. He wished he would get scolded for the shoes in the middle of the way, and his bag right next to the entrance. It made Stephen freak out, and Tony loved teasing him.  
  
He put his jacket on the cupboard and froze. Another letter with Stephen’s writing on it. He walked to the living room, got himself a glass of whiskey and a sandwich and opened the envelope with slightly shaking hands.  
  
**_The end of our first date_**  
  
_Dear Tony,_  
  
_I told you about our first date, and I told you that it wasn’t over at all. Can you remember? We walked back to your apartment, because it was the closer one. My heart pounded heavily against my chest when I saw the building approaching. And you know why?_  
  
_Because I had no idea how to end this date. This was so teenager-like, I know. I was afraid of doing something you wouldn’t like, because I knew about your past relationship, and I feared to make a wrong step._  
  
_We stopped right in front of your home, and before I could say something, I already saw you coming closer. I thought of fainting, but I guess that would have been a bad end for our date, right? *lol*_  
  
_So I waited – I didn’t dare to move. A few seconds later I already felt your lips on mine, and it was like … I don’t know … like a perfect match. I awoke from my frozen state, and I just could remember that I pulled you closer. It felt so good to have you close to me. Already then I didn’t want to miss it anymore._  
  
_When we parted this night, I headed home like I was drunk. I walked through the streets till I ended at my home, and I have no idea how I got there. How was your feeling after our date, Tony?_  
  
_When I got home, I pulled out my phone and texted you, can you remember? I wanted to see you as soon as possible. And can you remember what happened then?_  
  
_I will tell you next time, Tony._  
  
_In love_  
 _Stephen_  
  
Tony read it again and again. He could remember every second of this date, and when he closed his eyes, he could almost feel Stephen’s lips on his. This moment gave him his happy life – the best life he could imagine.  
  
“I wanted to run after you, not leaving you a single second,” Tony whispered. “And I can remember what happened when I got your message.” Tony smiled sadly.  
  
“I want you back,” he added, tears dropping down his cheeks.


	5. The night after the first date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen's letter about them meeting after the first date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with this - sorry it took a little longer because of the advent calendar :)

Tony stood on the balcony, a glass of whiskey in his hands. He twisted it in his hands absent-minded. They still had no idea how to find the ones they had lost and Thanos was still out there. Tony knew he would fight till the end. Even if that would mean to die in this fight. He had nothing to lose anymore. His heart clenched. Everyone tried to convince him that they’d get the others back, but slowly Tony doubted that Peter and Stephen were still somewhere out there.

 

The whiskey burnt down Tony's throat. He hadn't drunk in a while and he was definitely not used to it anymore. He turned to sit onto his chair, a little sad smile on his lips. He and Stephen had their places at the terrace and normally Tony wouldn't dare to use Stephen's seat. But today he did, and he would love to get scolded by Stephen for that.

 

He gulped and placed the glass of whiskey on the small table when he saw the next envelope lying on the chair.

 

_Dear Tony,_

_I promised to tell you what happened after our first date...  
_

_  
_

_I sent a message to you and waited till you responded. Can you imagine how I felt back then? I was like a teenager waiting for the first date. I thought Wong would kill me, because I was so nervous. Your answer seemed hours away, but only a few minutes had passed till my phone peeped._

_  
_

_You told me that you had a lot of fun and that you absolutely wanted to see me as soon as possible. I think Wong thought I was insane, because I danced through the hallway, and I mean what I said, I danced. And if you ever tell this to someone, I am going to kill you._

_And do you remember what I wrote you back? I wrote that if you want to meet asap, you should get yourself a taxi and come by. But I didn’t think that you would really do that._

_I was already preparing for bed, and I was nervous because you hadn’t replied till then, but then the doorbell rang and I opened and there was … you._

_You had the most mesmerizing smile on your face when you stepped into the house. And you didn’t even say hi, you just kissed me. I had to laugh into the kiss, because I heard Wong sighing in the back – telling us to get ourselves a room and not doing ‘such things’ in the hallway._

_I was never someone who jumped someone easily, and I never slept with someone at the first date, but I knew where your visit would lead us to – and I was happily welcoming this new ‘What I have to do till I die’ check on my list._

_It’s funny isn’t it, because now I am gone and I still have so many things on my to do list. But I already did a lot of things I always wanted to do, and that all because of you. You made my life something special, and you pulled me out of my black hole._

_We took Wong’s advise and went to my room, can you remember? I will tell you about it in the next letter,_

_With love_

_Stephen_

 

 Tony sobbed openly. “You fucking idiot can’t leave me behind like that.” He smashed the glass against the wall. “You have so many things on your – no, we have so much things on our to do list, you can’t leave me here.”

 

Tony headed to the workshop. He would definitely find a way to get his family back. He wouldn’t accept the things like they were now. This wasn’t going to happen – not after he had finally found luck in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? WIll Tony find a way to get his family back? And what will happen next? 
> 
> Thanks for reading this chapter. I hope you liked it. :) 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always loved. 
> 
> I am not a native :)


End file.
